Emptiness

For me emptiness means lacking purpose or substance and to cut the sentence short I define it as meaningless. Actually it's quite hideous because I write on this blog for my own reading, you can call me silly or crazy but my intention is to use this activities as my journal or a tool of self expression. I really have not idea why I am felt emptiness and loneliness all the times. Worse stilt I had a good honey and stay with family as well and this scene shouldn't occur but my heart still feel empty.

Perhaps, I am psycho and this feeling always make me feel wanted to suicide and think of other stupid things. I hate to go home early and I even can't sleep well almost everyday and paracetamol is the only option to keep me a sleep. When you said that I am a geek and always prison myself in the room or home, then you are totally wrong because I love to hang out and it's even better I can stay out of my home for forever.

This sense of emptiness maybe is my psychology problem due to the path I had chosen (love guys), disastrous in my career and not to mention my family confrontation about my sexual orientation. That's why I felt so hard for myself and there is also one book from Paulo Coelho "Veronika Decides to Die" is expressing partially how I feel nowadays. But I will be strong and wouldn't dare to do the nuisance stuff yet because there is too many doubt in my life that I am yet to explore.